A Spoonful of Common Sense

My oldest daughter is about to have her first baby. She is, as we all were, nervous about the parenting challenges that lie ahead. I told her that it is a waste of her energy to worry about the teen years before the teething years. Every child is as different as is every parent who walks miles through the parenting maze. I have often chastised my own mother for not warning me that this job doesn't end once your child blows out 18 candles on their birthday cake. But I have learned it is the one job that you never retire from and rarely live long enough to see the fruit of your labor.

I read many of the mommy blogs to see how the new generation views discipline. I would like to offer a dose of common sense. Here are five basic lessons every child should learn.

#5 Good manners - please and thank you are always appreciated but thank you cards should be sent to those who give a gift, do a kindness, for a teacher or a friend. It is an art that has gone by the way side but makes a huge difference, now and as an adult habit.

#4 Responsibility - no matter how young, children should learn to clean up after themselves. If they take it out, help them to pick it up when they are done. Oh, and set the example...pick up after yourself.

#3 Read! - This is a difficult lesson, but reading is obviously something your child will use for the rest of their lives, even it is as simple as reading directions. Keep it simple and let your child take the lead as to how much they want to read but one day a month (at least) should be a trip to the library. Reading to your child paves the way - and they are never too young!

#2 Tolerance - We are all different and the sooner these differences are seen as points of celebration rather than ridicule the better. Use positive words these differences whether they are of color, religion or disabilities. Be profound in your own behavior toward others.

#1 Kindness - To me this is the same as the "Golden Rule". Treat others as you wish to be treated. Sure it doesn't always work out that way, but for the most part if you smile or offer a kind word to someone, it will come back to you ten fold.

The most common sense approach I have for young parents, is to examine yourself. Buffalo Springfield said it best "Teach Your Children Well". Children imitate what they see and hear. Listen to what you say. Watch what you do. Then listen and watch them - children are a mirror.

I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Nanny McPhee Returns blogging program, making me eligible to get a $50 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here. I decided to blog because being a grandma coming up on 6 times now, I am eligible for a t-shirt in common sense! That is what a wise grandma would do.

Labor - Before and After

I have yet to determine which is more difficult - the labor of a natural birth, the labor of an adopted baby or the labor of your own child.

Each of my two natural births were long from 26 to 32 hours. The labor of adopting my oldest daughter was an arduous year long process. But watching one of my daughters going through labor, is an even more difficult ordeal.

Ask any mother, and she will tell you in a heartbeat that she would gladly take the pain to spare her child. Truth is, most of the time you are helpless to do little more than watch.

Today I watch as my daughter brings my 4th grandchild into the world. Interestingly, it is no easier than the first time. As a bonus, this precious spirit will make her arrival on my birthday. This begins another cycle of labor - my mother spent this day decades ago laboring to bring me into the world. I wonder how difficult this is for her. Does she know how grateful I am for my life, for my daughter's life and for the life of this new grandchild?

From daughter to daughter, we share a bond. This new grandbaby will be welcomed by mother, grandmothers and great grandmothers. That is a birthday gift that is truly priceless.

Lawn Mowing is Not Rocket Science

I have come to the conclusion that I am reaching a time when technology can go on without me. My children and grandchildren know more about cell phones, social media like Twitter and Facebook. Why should they listen to anything I have to say when it comes to learning something as mundane as mowing the lawn or cleaning their room?

The rocket science involved in mowing a lawn is beyond the younger generation. They will mow around anything in their path, rather than pick it up. The lawn will look more like a bad hair day than a pristine baseball field.

Weeding is another extreme sport where they have no athletic ability. A neighbor boy was weeding a flowerbed and pulled out everything that bloomed. When I asked him about his weed vs flower choices, he explained he figured if it bloomed it was a weed. Being the consummate gardener for decades, I must admit there is a thin line.

The house cleaning chores are just as challenging. If my son can get his dirty dishes from his room to the kitchen, they stop at the dishwasher. It is like a road block. I have introduced him to the trash can, his closet, and even the washing machine. He recognizes them but that is the extent of their relationship.

Perhaps if mowing the lawn or cleaning up could be done with a video game controller on the Wii, these skills would be well honed by age twelve. And yet, in this day of working parents and seniors staying in their homes longer, it seems that yard work or housecleaning would be a profitable business for some enterprising young person.

Gone are the days of the backyard carnivals and lemonade stands that we remember. Kids today need to make some serious cash. Have you seen the price of anything with an “i” in front of it? Babysitters are charging $5 an hour. That is a far cry from the going rate of 50 cents an hour forty years ago.

Helping our grandchildren understand the value of a dollar may be a more daunting task than helping them find a job. Tom Sawyer tricked his friend into painting a fence by making it sound more like fun than work. Go into business with your grandchild. They can be the bookkeeper and you will be the front man. Invest in a summer business that will not only help them buy that jumbo box of popcorn ($4.75!) at the movie but they might learn a little business savvy along the way.

Be imaginative with the name of the business, like Yard Hogs or Green Giants. Teach them how to mow, edge, trim and weed. Call your family, neighbors and friends and ask them to recommend this lawn and yard service. Help your grandchild to set up a schedule and provide transportation to the jobs. Once the business is going, you can suggest the need for more employees, creating more jobs for their friends. And what is your interest on the initial investment? Your lawn will be mowed once a week and spending time watching your grandchild taking steps toward independence.

If you are not into capital investments, check the web site TeachingKidsBusiness.com. It is an excellent resource for young people ages 8 to 18 years old to dip their fingers into the entrepreneurial pool. The free site is easy to navigate and encourages parents to be involved. TeachingKidsBusiness.com home page links kids to games, programs, a variety of resources and products to get kids doing business related activities. A very innovative and educational website for parents, grandparents and especially kids.

There are many books and web sites on kids in business you can share with your grandchildren. Remember - give a child a video game and you entertain him for a few hours. Teach him the value of work and he can buy his own video games and not spend as many hours playing them. That’s what a wise grandma would do.

Always

My mom just celebrated her 80th birthday in January. My dad, who hates anything to do with surprises, decided to throw her a surprise birthday bash. He enlisted as many friends and of course, family as he could to pull off this coup. The grandchildren and I, along with my brother, were enlisted to distract her for the day, while he ran around incognito preparing for the fete.

We took my mom out to lunch and tried to convince her to come out to the llama farm. But it was cold and foggy and my mom is not exactly the earthy type. When we came back later, she was fuming. My dad had not been home all day and she was fit to be tied. She was frustrated that on her birthday, she was not getting the attention she so truly deserved. He had told my brother to bring her downtown but she wanted him to come home and made no bones about it.

Surprisingly the grandkids, especially my precocious five year old granddaughter, kept mum about great-grandpa's secret plans. We tried calming her down but as we made our goodbyes and headed over to the party, her Latin roots were on fire.

The party went off without a hitch. My granddaughter played Happy Birthday for the crowd of 40 plus people as my mom entered the darkened room and we yelled surprise! She was upset with me for letting her come down there without her lipstick. But she was in heaven, surrounded by loved ones who congratulated her on the milestone and patted my dad on the back for pulling it off.

My mother is not one to be out done. So the story does not end there. Mom decides to "get even" though I have questioned the sentiment here, since my dad was really doing a nice thing. She enlisted a friend to hold a sweetheart luncheon for a few close friends. This was the plausible ruse to get my father out of the house and to his Valentine surprise or "revenge is a dish best served cold" party.

She was a bit disappointed because she couldn't find some of the old songs from their courtship days. I told her to give me the names and I would download them in itunes. She was at once shocked and delighted. Because, Always, I'm in the Mood For Love were a few of the favored selections, which I found quickly and decided that Perry Como and old Blue Eyes were probably the best crooners. I also found a great Nat King Cole tune, The Very Thought Of You. But the selection would not be complete, I told her, without the Marine Corps Hymn.

My father a retired Marine, plays the song every time he walks by a piano. He has insisted that all his children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren learn the piece as standard repertoire (a fancy word for music). It seemed appropriate to close this timeless musical love affair with a stand at attention semper fi.

My dad was duly surprised and he, too, thought it best to blame me for his lack of awareness in the planning stages. The role of the oldest daughter, I suppose. But for all their protests, this is a testimony to true love. There are no fonder memories for me than my dad coming home from work and whirling my mom around the kitchen floor in an awkward attempt at the waltz. Trust me, if there is one thing my father and I have in common - we can't dance! But his endearing way of taking her into his arms and my mom gracefully making him look good doing so, are moments from my childhood that I truly treasure.

Valentines Day may be scoffed as a day for florists and chocolate makers to sell their wares, but for me it is a time to honor those who have stood the test of time, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, through kids, diapers, runny noses, fender benders, lost jobs, new jobs, moving, empty nests and aging bodies. That is what it means to be in love and young people got nothing on my Fred Astaire Dad and my Ginger Rogers Mom.

Mother Knows Best!

Go Green! Save the Planet! Global Warming! The warnings are days late and several dollars short. My mother was WAY ahead of the times because she was recycling before Webster made it an official word in the dictionary.

As the oldest of seven children, I can say with all sincerity that my mother taught us not only the value of a dollar but how to stretch the greenback until you could see through it. We learned to wash tin foil, rinse plastic bags, save twist ties and bread bag clips.

 

We saved every empty jar or plastic container. I never knew that Tupperware was an actual brand name. I thought it was a plastic container - any plastic container.

 

Recycling is in my blood. It is my nature and nurture that I find recycling to be not only an art but in these tough economic times, a matter of necessity. We should all make a firm new year resolution to return to the three Rs - reduce, reuse and recycle. BYOB - bring your own bag to the grocery store and reduce your carbon footprint a toe at a time.

 

It is cutting edge these days to be green. My 80 year old mother is green from head to toe and great grandkids are learning to follow in her giant footsteps for humankind and good old Mother Earth, because that is what a wise grandma would do.

Making Snow Cream

As part of our twelve days of Christmas random acts of kindness, my granddaughter has decided to bake cookies for all of her Kindergarten class and teachers. We have a baking rule in our household. All products must be taste tested!

Since the weather outside has turned frightful, we stoke the fire, preheat the oven and whip up a batch of indoor snowmen. There is nothing better than a sweet snowman with your snow cream. Hopefully you have the essential whipping cream in your refrigerator for the unexpected school snow day!

Recipe for snow cream

4 cups of CLEAN snow

1/2 c sugar or to taste

1 tablespoon of vanilla

1 pint of whipping cream

Slowly blend together with the cream until you have the right consistency. Remember the snow will melt as you add the cream. Be sure to use a wooden or plastic spoon. Snow will freeze to a metal spoon. I doubt there will be any left, but snow cream does not do well in the freezer. It is meant to be enjoyed in the moment!

Introducing - Wise Grandma

I have been called many names, some nicer than others, but I think my favorite is Grandma.

By way of credentials, I must confess that I did not come by the title of Grandma honestly. I am an instant grandmother. My daughter married a wonderful man with twin boys. These two impish bookends were an unexpected bonus in my life. Although I did not have to go through the hovering, worry, aches and pains and endless waiting that most mothers do with their pregnant daughters, I can’t say that being an instant grandmother was all that easy either.

I jumped right in with both arms. I am convinced now that God gave us two arms just in case we had twins. Mothers and grandmothers with multiple blessings beyond that must be grateful for their feet and toes. There were very few tricks these two could run past me, that I had not invented or had the playbook memorized.

I joyously accepted grandparenthood in overnight fashion. I quickly realized though, that this new role was more than baby-sitting or simply the offering of advice. It is more of a hands on job. Always ready for new challenges, I set the rocking chair aside and set about to find fun ways of engaging these techno savvy children. This grandma has a new bag of tricks.

Lucky for me, I am a quick study. My granddaughter is now the book between the bookends. After spending most of my adult life as a work-at-home mom, I intend to fully relish the new and younger lifestyle of the work-at-home grandma. Young enough to still remember the fun of being a child, yet wise enough to know the limits, and creative enough to mix the two, let’s discover the true fountain of youth, grand-parenting. That’s what a wise grandma would do.